Marriage

Another lovely feature about females that I possess is the fact that I have dreamed and planned out my wedding a thousand times over since I was in middle school. To this day, I have kept to the same color pallet (NO I'm not putting it on here so someone can steal it!...though if you know me, it's kind of obvious), however the groom has changed quite a bit...lol. Nonetheless, plenty of females dream about their wedding day and how marriage will be. Growing up, marriage was between a male and a female, loving each other till death due them part......yea about that.
Growing up, (not gunna lie) I was a secluded little one, so when I found out there was such thing as a "gay person" it blew my mind...like what, they all of a sudden appeared? NOW governments are allowing civil marriages?? Hellooooo definitely mind blowing. Again, growing up, I was (and proudly am) a Roman Catholic. Marriages are a man and a woman, no divorcing, no babies before marriage, no sex before marriage, etc. For a long time, I agreed with it all, but my outlook has definitely changed.
It wasn't until I hit college that I realized there are a lot of gay people in the world, but one thing I failed to realize was they are capable of loving and being loved as well. Now, I'm not gunna lie, seeing a couple of the same sex together does make me feel a tad uncomfortable, but when I DO see these couples, they seem like they're more in love than heterosexual couples. I LOVE LOVE LOVE all of my homosexual friends and to think that they aren't allowed to marry the person they love really does break my heart. How are they supposedly destroying the meaning of marriage when we have marriages that last freakin' hours??
I look at it like this: The definition of marriage to me means "The union of two people, to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life", but the first definition that comes up when searched is this: "the state of being a married couple voluntarily joined for life (or until divorce)"...WTF. Since when was divorce part of the marriage lifestyle...oh we love each other...oh we're getting married....oh I'm too lazy to work through things...oh it's divorce time. The true meaning of marriage is definitely loving someone no matter what...being with that person TIL DEATH DO YOU PART...no oh I'm tired of you I'm gunna go sleep with another hoe, etc. etc. In the end, WE AS HETEROSEXUAL marriages are destroying the true meaning of being married. But why is this??
In my opinion, Americans are lazy and greedy. Period. Done. End of story. We are too lazy to work through problems by COMMUNICATING, putting forth the effort and nurturing a relationship needs. Instead, we get caught up in the fast paced life we live as Americans and forget about family, love, and happiness. I completely understand other circumstances such as abusive marriages and what not...my advice, get out. But if honestly, if you haven't tried everything to save the marriage, don't end it...you got married for a reason, right?
Now with everything being said, I still cannot wait for my wedding day and marriage in general. Being able to give your all to one person for the rest of your life and get it back in return...I'm sure is the best feeling in the world.

Patience and control and an update

One of the BEST qualities to have in life (in my opinion) is patience. I believe it takes a strong person to be patient and without a doubt, I am thankful God has given me such a gift; otherwise, I don't think I'd be as level headed as I am. I am surprisingly patient at my job, dealing with others and children, and people do open up to me as a result. I love hearing stories and what others are going through. I don't have a big mouth, so I do feel honored sometimes when friends and random strangers pour their hearts out to me or even tell me the most random things ever. Now I do have to put this out there...there ARE some aspects of my life that I have NO patience whatsoever in...examples include: waiting for a phone call (yes someone is targeted here...ha), school, red lights, food, and sometimes...customers. Let's be real, I talk to plenty of people every day at my job...whether they're in a rush, slow (NO not retarded), difficult, happy as can be, or just plain rude. My favs (surprisingly) are the rude customers, because honestly I just laugh it all off in the end...I may cuss 'em out a few times over in my head...but that's not the point. To me, I look at it like this: They had a bad day, they're annoyed, whatever...but they're taking it out on me because I'm in the crossfire...I did nothing wrong (or maybe I did...by smiling??), but in the end I AM THE BETTER PERSON, because I'm not letting my emotions get the best of me and take it out on an innocent bystander. Control is also another trait a lot of individuals do not have a grasp of. Human emotion is a powerful thing, but being able to control it, it is then that you succeed. Talking it through helps (as I've learned)...hey maybe I should be a psychologist...I should get paid for my advice dang it!
Update: So you know how yesterday I said a few things about my boyfriend not showing his emotions on a few things we do? Well, I told him I started a blog and gave him the link...I said you should read it sometime (HINTING maybe he should read it)...his response was It was taking too long to load so I left it alone. So basically that means he will never look at this; therefore, I can blast him all I want...ha! I wouldn't do that...though it makes an interesting read.

Anyways, I'm sitting here on my Nutrition book and my butt is getting numb, soooo I think that means it's time to lay down. Espanol manana...oh yea and that tarea! Laterz..

Just a little rant before bed :-)

One thing I know about myself, for sure is that I could care less if someone feels the same way I do in terms of my problems. Every now and again, it does feel good for someone to say "yea, me too!" but in the end I just want answers. I don't usually chose the people I talk to about my problem based on them relating to me, but rather someone who will give me insight on what the heck to do (MOST of the time). Don't get me wrong, I am very self sufficient with my problems, but sometimes it's fun to not do the thinking for once :-)

Anyways, why I'm writing is not because of the previous paragraph (pre-ranting I guess...ha!), but because of a certain male. Let me start off by saying I LOVE my male friends (I also love my handful of female friends too, but this post isn't about yall). I can probably go for hours talking about females (and other males for a select few) with my male friends; things they do, things they don't do, etc. They put it ALL out there and most of the time, pour their hearts out. Now, while I am happy to be that person they confide in, WHY can't my boyfriend tell me how he 'feels'?! I have the HARDEST time reading his feelings (in anything...not so much me...thankfully), so I have to pry which ultimately becomes the 20 questions game. It's always, "I don't care" or "What ever you want". Now, I know most females would LOVE hearing this, but it pisses ME off. I WANT you to care and it's NOT what ever I want, cause if you're miserable and it IS what I want, you'll make me miserable with you! Perhaps I just make things difficult because I don't just want my way, I want our way. However, being with me for almost 2 years, wouldn't you think he'd catch on by now? Nonetheless, I do give him his props for dealing with such a "not so typical" female, but I would LOVE to not have to play 20 questions.....

comments??

Anyways, going to bed...work sometime tomorrow :-)

Explanation

So, here's the deal. I've been told I'm not your typical female in terms of thinking or being. One of the reasons I believe that is true because I cannot STAND being around females 90% of the time. I hate (yes, I'm using the word) drama and females are full of it. Now, I'm sure I've had a share of drama, but I can't change it cause it's in my female make up. I can prevent the overload by stepping away from most of it-hence, not being around females. I do have a lovely handful of females I get along with just fine, but I get along with guys a lot better.
Anyways, (see the rant paragraph...sorry) this is my way of getting things off my chest, talking (to myself most of the time) so I don't let my emotions get the best of me (drama). So, what you'll see here are my views on issues, my daily crap I go through, etc. My favorite topic is probably going to be the topic of love (I could go on for years...believe me). I am a hopeless romantic...one of the very few things I embrace having a female mind :-) So I hope you enjoy my posts...leave comments if you want me to talk about something (being serious...not like monkeys flying or something) or leave comments just because! So, here it goes....